That’s Not Jello, That’s My Brain!

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted here. Not because everything has been smooth sailing but, because I just haven’t. I’m not sure why. Possibly because I can’t stand admitting everything that is going on. But, there is so much going on, yet…nothing different.

My mother in law, she still is barely speaking to me. Recently she told my husband that she doesn’t like that how I take care of her oldest grandson…my step-son. She doesn’t appreciate that he “isn’t as spoiled as Ross.” Well lady…I don’t need to do any of the spoiling for Jon…you’ve got that covered, pretty damn well! She also doesn’t seem to like the way he is treated by me…or my husband, for that matter. She doesn’t think he gets enough attention! C’mon lady…you don’t live here! You don’t know what goes on! He gets more attention than anyone…because he fucking demands it…all. the. time!! And…furthermore…no…I don’t love him! He is causing so much tension and stress in our house that it makes it unbearable! His mother…his biological mother…she barely loves him so, what is it that anyone expects of me. I am under NO obligation to love him…or like him, for that matter. I treat him just fine. I buy him clothes, help him with his homework, pack his lunches…I do everything that I am supposed to do…that is MY obligation. But…no…I don’t like him and I don’t love him. I simply take care of him…the same way I do with my other 4 children!

My husband is distraught over his son. He blames himself. Blame isn’t going to fix it. But, if there is ANYONE to blame for how Jon is…it’s his biomom. Starting from pregnancy…doing drugs while she was pregnant with him! How stupid…but, that’s her…stupid! When he was an infant…leaving him on the bed with her…while she was getting high. Those fume…that had to have done something to him. And then, finally…deserting him. Off and on…since he was 3 1/2. And…don’t think running up North, instead of seeing the kids on the weekends isn’t a form of desertion…it is!! So…blame that fucking whore! And…genetics, of course!

It doesn’t help that Jon has not a single friend to his name. Kids don’t like him. Even his siblings. He is creepy. Kids are creeped out by him. It’s so sad but yet…so true. He has a very dark aura. A sense of anger oozes out of him. And hatred. And bad things. It’s unsettling and getting worse as he gets older. Even my husband is starting to sense it. Finally.

And…it’s only Jon that my husbands family is concerned about. No one else. Not Ross. Not Samantha. Not Josh or Emily…but, they aren’t blood so…they could give less than a rats ass about my first two.

With only caring about Jon…it is causing a major separation. Of my husband with his family. Of me with my husband…emotionally. And…it makes it even worse between Jon and myself. It makes me resent him even more…because he, to me, is the fall guy. The reason for everything bad that happens. I can’t help it. But…in all fairness to my feelings…he does demand that kind of attention, too. All of our negativity! Which, in turn, creates a household of negativity.

I’ve suggested sending him to live with his mother. She made him. She should be the one taking care of him. But, my husband will NEVER have that. So…in the meantime…I try to avoid that child. Because, I’m so worried that I will someday say something that will push him over the edge. And…that is what scares me about him…he is teetering on a precipice. I just pray that, when he falls over…he doesn’t take any of us with him!!

So…that’s what’s going on. Did any of that make sense? Maybe, the main reason I don’t update on this blog…this secret blog…is…admitting what goes on in this family, it makes me so angry that I ramble. But…I’ll try to update more. It is cathartic.

Also, I want to transfer my Such Simple Pleasures blog, onto WordPress. Any suggestions how to go about doing it, without losing all of my stuff…and my header?

That’s it for now! For fun and amusing…go to my other blog…but please, don’t mention this blog on that blog!!

xoxo

A year ago, around this time, my then 10 year old, step-son started exhibiting signs of severe Panic/Anxiety Disorder. If an adult left the room, he would become hysterical. If his father had to leave the house, even to just run to the gas station, he would start panicking, break down in hysterics, sobbing uncontrollably. If I had to go into the bathroom, and god forbid, his father wasn’t home…he’d literally break down the bathroom door…that REALLY happened!!!

So, we took him to a psychiatrist. She evaluated him and determined that he had severe Panic/Anxiety Disorder. She put him on an anti-depressant called Lexapro. It was miraculous, the change in him…almost immediately.

Now, here we are, a year later. The Lexapro isn’t working anymore. His Panic/Anxiety has come back in full force. Thankfully, his father is home over break. I’d have to lock myself in a room with a steel door, if he wasn’t.

His father ran out, today. Had to run some errands. My step-son started crying and screaming…begging to go with him. Finally, on his own accord, he decided to stay home. But, instead of playing with the kids…he sat in the kitchen with me, while I baked.

Last night, he wouldn’t/couldn’t fall asleep. He was so worried that, if he fell asleep, all the people in the world would just disappear. So, instead, he lay in his bed, staring out of him room…at my bedroom. To make sure we weren’t leaving! We finally shut our bedroom door. It was so fricking creepy.

And now, my husband announces to me, he is going out, tomorrow night! I’m going to be left home with all 5 kids…which, normally, is fine. Not now. Not with what is going on with this kid! I won’t even be able to put my littlest child to bed because, I can’t leave the same room as my step-son, without having to put him in a home. I told hubby, if he goes out, he has to take his son with him. It’s only fair. But, he isn’t going to…and, he told me, he is going out! No matter what!

So, he’s going to have to find me, tomorrow. I’m going out, with my 3 kids, in the afternoon. I’m going to my best friends house. The kids are going to play. She and I are going to drink wine…she already confirmed that she bought a couple of bottles and we are starting early!!!!! YAY! And…I will NOT be coming home, tomorrow night…until way late. Sorry honey, didn’t mean to have to MAKE you take your kids with you…oops!

Now, remind me…why do people get married, again? I’m finding it more difficult to remember the reasons!!! Sucks!

I just want to wish everyone a HAPPY and HEALTHY Holiday!  May your day be filled with laughter and love!

Enjoy!

Melissa

Y’know, it’s funny.  Just today, I was thinking about whether or not I was going to keep this blog going.  I don’t seem to post much on it.  I spend my time, more, at Such Simple Pleasures.  And then…something happened.  I wanted, so badly, to post this on my regular blog.  I know I have my husbands family, lurking, but…so badly I wanted to talk about this and get feedback.  But, I chose to do it here, silently venting.  Where only a couple of you, my friends, will talk to me…

So, my step-daughter asks her dad if she can have dinner, tomorrow night, Thursday, with her grandmother.  Just her and my step-son.  So, here is the conversation the transpires:

Hubby:  Why only you and Jonny?

Samantha:  shrugging shoulders, looking miserable…

Hubby:  Why don’t you call her and ask her if she wants to meet us all for dinner.

Samantha:  Rolls eyes and looks as if she is going to cry…

Me:  What’s the matter?  Why do you look so unhappy?

Samantha:  Because, I don’t want to listen to her(grandmother)yell at me.

Me: What do you mean?

Samantha:  She only wants to see me and Jon.

Hubby:  Then, you can’t go

Samantha:  She’s going to yell at me.  And, I don’t want her to rip on you guys to me.

Me and Hubby:  WTF!!!

Samantha:  Well, it’s really you, Melissa, that she is mean about.  She’s crying, now.

Me:  Honey, what does she say?  I promise you, I won’t say a word.  I’m NOT going to be mad at you…it’s not your fault.

Samantha:  She is so mean.  She told me and Jon that, you are like the mean girl, from the movie “Mean Girls” and Daddy is your follower.  Why is she so mean?

Me:  OMG!!   Why does she say that?  Do you two complain about me, a lot, to her?

Samantha:  No, I don’t.  Jonny tells her how much he hates you!   Please, don’t say anything to her.  I don’t want her to get mad and yell at me!

OK…see…this is a Grandmother.  If she has to tell her opinion of a parent…don’t get the fucking grandchild involved!  Really!  This woman is poisonous!  She is a horrible, miserable woman, whose controlling reign over her son and grandchildren ended, the second he married me.  She can’t get past it so, she is trying her damnedest to turn those kids against me…obviously.  That isn’t me being paranoid, either!

The thing that kills me is, my husband won’t say a word to his mother!  I said to him, when the kids went downstairs to play that, had this been my mother who was speaking ill of him, to my kids…I would be on the phone with her, giving her a piece of my mind.  He just stared at me and said “Well, what good would that do?”   In my opinion, by remaining silent, it is giving her permission to continue to badmouth me to these kids.  And that is unacceptable.  It is, also, unacceptable that he is remaining mute!  I’m so freaking pissed, right now…

So, for now, I’m keeping this blog.  More drama, regarding my husbands vile family, is sure to unfold. I just won’t be posting, every day here!

So, thanks for letting me vent…

Melissa

Even as I type this, guilt overwhelms me.  He’s just a kid…only 11.  But, he is destroying our family.  His behavior dictates the mood of the family.  Which, normally is vile, on both parts.  And…I hate him.  I do.  The guilt is horrible.  But, I truly can NOT stand living with my step-son.  I really, really wish he could live with his mother.  That would be a much better match for him, anyway.  He needs the undivided attention, which is part of the problem, at our house…too many kids so, he acts out so all the attention is on him.   I just keep wishing he’d go away.  Isn’t that horrible?!  I would hate to think someone was thinking that way about one of my children but…mine aren’t like this.

Hubby, in his own way, agrees.  He doesn’t enjoy living with his son, either.  But, he will NEVER send him to live with the real mom.  Better that the living conditions, here, should be awful…

So, I just needed to let that out.  I can’t stand him.  I can’t stand living with him.  I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to do it!  And…I really wish that I knew, before I married my husband, just how crazy his son really was!!!

Melissa

I love my husband. I really, really do. But, I really should have listened to my parents. They told me that I should marry for money and then love. That sounds horrible. I know! It really does but, they didn’t mean me being a gold-digger, type of woman. They meant, marrying someone who, at the end of the month, after all the bills are paid, there is still an expendable income. Where, if I wanted to get my hair done, it would be a non-issue. Or, if my kids needed new boots…no biggie. I didn’t marry my husband for money…that is FOR SURE!!! There is, absolutely, no expendable income. I can’t get my hair done, this month…we haven’t even paid the mortgage, yet…and, I have no clue where the money is going to come from, to do so. My kids, 2 of them, need new winter boots…how? I’m so beyond frustrated!

We aren’t poor. We have a nice home. I have a decent car…although, I’m dying for a new one…have been driving this one for 5 years! My kids have nice clothes…really, they aren’t wanting for much. But, when something happens to come along, like the need for new boots…that’s when there is no money to spare.  And then, I have to listen to my sister complain…about what?  Between her and her husband, they have so much money…they don’t have to thing twice about doing ANYTHING…from buying groceries to taking numerous family vacations.  But, all she does is complain…about money…and her husband…and how badly her boys are behaving….SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!  If I had, a tiny drop, of the money they made…oh, the things I could do!!!

I really wish that I was creative enough, to find a way to make money from home. I come up with zillions of ideas but then, I don’t know where start.

I wish I had listened to my parents, on the school thing, too. They tried to always drill it into my head, the importance of education. Well, I had plenty of education! I went to college for 6 years…no degree! I never found my niche. I never could figure out what I wanted to be, when I grew up. I still have no clue. I started college, thinking I wanted to be an archaeologist. Then, I switched to psychology. Then, I switched to education. Then, I dropped out. I was wasting money and time by, basically, just taking up space with no direction! I wish I could turn back time. I wish I finished my degree! I know, it’s not too late but, that brings us back to the money problem. No expendable funds which equals no college…at this point. Maybe, one day…for sure. But, for now, not in my cards.

I wish my husband wasn’t so lazy. He is a teacher…an amazing one. He teaches high school English…his students adore him. He does extracurricular coaching, too. In the Fall, he coaches middle school football and in the Spring…girls track. But, he refuses to do anything else. And, he is vehemently opposed to my finding a job. He feels I save us money, by staying home. We don’t have to pay for daycare or cleaning ladies and, in the end, he feels that, even if I were to get a job…all the money I would make, without a degree, we’d end up still negative due to having to pay people for things that I do around the house, everyday.

I suppose that, I really shouldn’t complain. Things are way better for us than for millions of other families. But, when you are living it, having money problems, it always seems just as big as the ones you hear about on television, or read about in the news.

Basically, however, I am happy. Really! But, I just looked at our bank statement so, I am sick to my stomach. I feel like, if only we had just a little more money…not a ton. I don’t care about being a bazillionaire! But, if there was just, even a couple of hundred dollars more, every month…our life would be near perfect.

Well, I’m done feeling sorry for myself. I just better make sure that my children, especially my daughters, do well in school. So that they will, hopefully, have a better financial future than their Mommy. Then, I’ll never have to tell them to marry someone for money and then love. They’ll be able to make their own way…and, they should only marry for love…like I did!

Melissa

Dear BioMom…

You told my husband, your ex, that no one respects you in our house. DUH! Because, the fact of the matter is, you are a waste of our worlds natural resources. Your purpose, on this planet…I, seriously, can’t think of a single one!

You had a dog. You gave it away. You had some cats. You decided you didn’t want them anymore so, you had them euthanized. You had a couple of kids. You got divorced and decided, you didn’t feel like taking care of them. So, you just handed them over to their dad and step-mom. What a stellar person, you are.

You whine and cry that you don’t think you get to spend enough time with your children. But, on your days, you call in sick. I didn’t realize that, being a mother is a job that you can pick and chose what days you feel like working. In the real world, you would have been fired, by now, for the amount of times you have called in sick or have left early.

Yesterday, my husband called you to let you know that your kids could sleep at your house. Silly us! We thought you’d be excited about that. You hadn’t seen your kids in a few days…most MOMMY’S would jump in their car and drive like Mario Andretti…just to see their children. Not you…you come first. You had plans that you didn’t want to cancel. So, you said that you’d just see them, the next day! WOW…you’re love for your children…it’s so overwhelming that it brings tears to my eyes!

Today, you show up…late, as usual, to collect your kids. Then, you inform us that, you will be bringing them home early…you have plans, again. When did you find a friend, first of all? And…how come you’d put seeing your friend, in front of, seeing your children. Oh yeah, same reason you decided you didn’t want you children living with you, in the first place.

You called us, earlier this afternoon, because Jonny started throwing up. You didn’t want to take care of him so…you brought him home for me to take care of. And you wonder why they have started calling me Mommy, sometimes. And, you wonder why Samantha had ME take her shopping for bras…and not you! And, why they call ME from your house, because they want to talk. You wonder why, at night…when you actually have time for them to sleep over, that Samantha cries because she misses me. You really shouldn’t be wondering, about any of this…I AM their Mom…you are just someone who buys them things and takes them out, sometimes, when you feel like it.

You don’t deserve to have EVER had the privilege of having children. I see and hear stories of woman, desperate to have children. And then there is you, who so easily had two children…and, even easier…gave them away, like they were puppies that you didn’t want.

You sicken me. Your outside is becoming as ugly and crusty as your inside…you are disgusting. I’m embarrassed for your children that they have to be seen with you and that people know you are their birth mother.

You are a piece of shit…

Melissa

Growing up, divorce was a word, whispered in conversations. Much like the name of any, life altering, disease. It was very uncommon, at least where I grew up, to know a kid who came from a divorced home. Couples, in my parents generation, took their vows more seriously, it seems. They stayed together, maybe extremely unhappily, but…together. People of that generation, bought burial plots together…that’s just how it was.

In 1999, when I was going through a divorce, I knew no one in the same situation. I was, completely and utterly, alone. My friends, although they would listen and give me support, they didn’t understand because they weren’t going through one. No one, in my circle of friends, was going through anything traumatic nor, did they know anyone, besides me, who was. Obviously, though, a lot of people were going through the same thing as I was because, I was dating the ex-husbands!

But, now…it’s a pandemic. It seems that, everyone I talk to, is going through or went through, a divorce. I, even, have a friend who is getting married, for the 3rd time…she isn’t even 40, yet! I found out, today, that another girlfriend of mine…she’s getting divorced. My entire play group…the ENTIRE group…divorced. What is happening here? Why is it that none of us can make our marriages work? Why are we saying “I do”, when we know, in our hearts that we really don’t?

I remember, during my first marriage, walking down the aisle, with thoughts screaming in my head…”Run away from here!” “Don’t do this!” I just figured, that’s how a bride is supposed to feel on her wedding day…a buyers remorse, of some sort! But, two kids later and thousands of dollars spent in marriage counseling, those voices were NOT a product of buyers remorse…and, I should have listened to them! I’m hearing that from a bunch of people, too. I hear from lots of friends, and friends of friends…they all knew, on their wedding day…they were not marrying the right person. My husband, the one I’m married to now, said he had the same feeling at his first wedding…to run away from there and send all the guests, gift reimbursement checks.

What’s going to happen to our children’s generation? The norm is coming from a single parent home, or growing up with a step parent. What kind of relationships are they going to have? Are our children going to be able to have functional relationships, when all they see are parents fighting and solving fights by divorcing. Granted, I know that, there is so much more to the reason for divorce. But, the kids see Mommy and Daddy, fighting a lot. Suddenly, Mommy and Daddy don’t live together, anymore and they spend half the time at Mommy’s house and the other half, at Daddy’s. They don’t realize that Daddy was banging the secretary. Or, Mommy was learning more than tennis, from the pro.

By the time my kids are old enough, is marriage going to be a thing of the past? With the divorce rates being so high, are they going to say “screw it”? I truly hope that, at least with my children, they will see that Mommy married a wonderful man and they are growing up in a home where, the parents love each other. And, there is hope for marriage. Hopefully, they will learn, through my marriage, that it can be a wonderful thing. And, hopefully, they will learn how to have a functional relationship, through the example that they are growing up with. Hopefully.

I heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who…oh screw it…this is my SECRET blog so I can talk about this and use names!  So, lets’ get down to business…

As some of you may, or may not, know…I have a step-son who has a bunch of emotional and psychological problems.  OCD, ADHD, Panic/Anxiety Disorder and, the clincher is…the psychologist, as well as the psychiatrist, believe his is headed towards a mood disorder…mainly Bi-Polar Disorder.  It’s horrible.  He is very hard to live with…I’ve mentioned that before, not sure if it was here or at the other blog…

The reason I’m bringing this up is because of my chiropractor.  I’ve known him for 20 years.  I have a bad back…what can I tell you!  In the 20 years, he has been married three times and divorced three times.  He has a son from his first marriage and a daughter from his third.   His son was his pride and joy.  I remember, years ago, the way he would light up when he talked about his child.  He was so excited by every single thing this little boy did.  Well, he eventually divorced from the mom.  The mom had custody but, Dr. Chiropractor saw his son as much as possible.  The kid, as he grew, demonstrated early signs of a mood disorder but, the mother, a psychologist, was taking care of him…I don’t know all the details and I’m not going to speculate.  All I know is, one day, about 3 years ago…this golden boy, the apple of his daddy’s eye…he violently stabbed his mother…to death.  He has been serving a prison sentence for the last few years.  I believe he was tried as an adult and will be spending most of his life in prison.  Well, since he has been in jail, he has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder.  And…that is what scares me…

You see, I have a fear that my step-son is going to do the same thing, to me.  I have worried about this for a few years.  I have mentioned it to the psychologist, who assures me that people who suffer from Bi-Polar…they normally only cause harm to themselves.  Well, if that is the case…please explain Dr. Chiropractors sons’ situation.

It’s funny…not in a haha, sort of way, but…the Bio Mom had mentioned to me, a few times over the past few years, that she felt a sense of violence and darkness, from her son.  She even made reference to the fact that she had a feeling he was going to kill her, one day.  Well, the only thing I can say is…I hope, if he kills ANYONE…it’s her and NOT ME!!!!

But, in seeing and talking to, Dr. Chiropractor, today…it really made me think about my fear, all over again…I try not to think about it, too much…not a great thing to obsess over!   And, it made me realize…as much as I love my husband…if I knew then, what I know now…about his son and his family…I think that, I really might have said “I don’t”.  Isn’t that sad?  Because…the things that effect/affect(which one?) our marriage are NOT directly related to our relationship.  But yet, they are things that are major.

My mom keeps telling me that, that is why people should date for a long time, before they get married.  But…none of this stuff would be obvious…not really…without living together.  And, seeing as, I would never have lived with him without being married…especially since I had kids!…it’s a moot point!

So, heres hoping that I’m wrong and the psychologist is right…

Growing up, my parent’s did not believe in spoiling my sister and me.  At the beginning of every school year, they took us shopping for a small, new wardrobe…usually, at some inexpensive clothing store.  And…those clothes had to last, pretty much, all year.  We never had more than one or two pairs of jeans, a couple of tops and maybe, if we were lucky and there were good sales, a couple of pairs of pants that weren’t jeans.  Even if our, very fashionable, stirrup pants got holes in the crotch…we’d still have to wear them, until the next years shopping trip…or, until we saved up enough of our own money to purchase new ones.  Much of the same, with the rest of our clothing.

Now, mind you, my family wasn’t poor.  We weren’t exceptionally wealthy, either.  Comfortable, would be the word of choice.  But, I believe that, my mom was so worried that she wouldn’t be able to afford expensive clothes for herself so, she was chintzy on what was purchased for her darling daughters.  We had to shop at places like Limited Express…back when their clothes were poorly (yet cute)made, K-Mart and other various inexpensive places.  And, my mother was buying her clothes at Saks and other expensive boutique shops.  Oh, how it used to aggravate us!

To be able to get things, like, boom boxes, a walkman…the things that every other kid seemed to just get bestowed upon them, we had to earn.  Good grades would entitle us to spoils.  Too bad I was not a great student…too busy with a social life (dumb ass!) Then, when we were old enough to get a job…we did!  So that we could buy our own things and join the materialistic competition, that was our high school. Also, we used to try to save our allowance…for the same reason.  To be able to buy some of the things that our peers had, so that we could fit in.

The reason I am talking about this is, I was thinking about how my parents haven’t changed.  They are like this with their grandkids, too.  My step-kids spent the weekend with my husbands mother.  She took them on a major shopping spree.  They came home, decked in outrageously expensive, new clothes.  My step-daughter got a digital camera.  My step-son…a camcorder.  For the other three…NOTHING!  My biological daughter, she noticed that nothing was purchased for her.  She made a comment about how spoiled the other two are.  And then, she asked me why my mom, her Nana, never takes them shopping.  I didn’t want to give a negative reply.  What I really wanted to say is, Nana is still too busy buying herself, super expensive clothes and so, she doesn’t want to spend the money on anyone else, but herself.  Instead, what I said was, why don’t you call Nana and ask her to take you shopping.  She didn’t call her.  But, in my heart, I knew that my mom would tell her that she “just didn’t have the money, right now.”  Because, that is what she always told my sister and me.   I think my daughter had a feeling, though, that she would be told “no”.  It made me feel so sad, for my children, that they notice all the other grandparents, spoiling their grandchildren…what grandparents are supposed to do! I just wanted to call my mom and scream at her, that she needed to make up for her cheapness with me and my sister, and take care of her grandchildren!

I believe that, due to the way I grew up, I overindulge my children to make up for what I was lacking.  And, to make up for, the fact that, no one else spoils them…except for me.  I figure, when I am out shopping, I need to buy things for MY kids…not so much, my step-kids…everyone in the family takes care to go over the top, with them.  Every once in a while, I’ll buy myself some clothes.  But, I think it’s so much more important for them to have nice things.  I don’t want them to have the insecurities, due to material things, that I had when I was growing up.  There are so many other things, in this world, that are going to cause them upset and make them feel insecure…clothes and gadgets ARE NOT going to be a factor!

But, I also try to make them aware of the fact that, money is not so plentiful.  While they have a lot of clothes and electronics and everything that kids have, these days, sometimes, they have to pitch in to help purchase them.  When they get money for the holidays, and they decide that they HAVE to have a Sony PSP…I split the cost with them but, I usually tell them that is their birthday present.  It’s so hard, though, to find the happy medium between spoiled and appreciative.  But, I think, by having them help in the purchase, especially of frivilious things…it makes them more aware of the value of a dollar, it makes them like the thing more, and lastly…I think that, it makes them less spoiled because, they don’t constantly EXPECT and sit with their hands out.

My step kids are SPOILED.  The figure, if we don’t buy them something…their grandmother or their mother will.  They get WHATEVER they want.  And…they never, EVER truly appreciate it.  By not appreciating, I mean, the lose, ruin, destroy…everything that is given to them…and that is non-biased observation.  On the other hand, my kids NEVER lose their things.  Their clothes are always, when grown out of, able to be passed on to other family members.  To me, that is the difference between being spoiled and being appreciative of what you have.

I don’t want to sound like I am comparing mine with his…I’m really not…well, maybe, kind of.  But, I was just thinking about all of this, this morning.  Maybe because I was never spoiled, so I appreciated everything that I had…and still do, it rubbed off onto my kids.  But, how come it hasn’t trickled down to my husbands kids?  They’ve lived with me for most of their lives.  Maybe genetics?  Who knows.   But, hopefully, I am doing a decent enough job, at least with my three.

How do you keep your kids from being too spoiled yet are able to indulge them?  Especially, in this day and age, when kids have way too much?

Melissa